Thursday, April 17, 2008

w.h.e.a.t.

i have a job now, i am officially employed.

i felt the anxiety rise when i heard the voicemail. "we would like to officially offer you the job". i felt my life of freedom closing in on me. please, no office, no set hours, no payroll, no money, no commitments, no responsibilities. my last year plus more has been about something big and purposeful, but it has also been the grandest adventure i've ever been on. life became alive, i wasn't oppressed by thoughts of bills and fulfilling a corporate agenda, i was living my passion. and even though i know that right now my student loan demands a payment every month, and sitting at home isn't my idea of living the dream, i felt like that old way of living, the corporate world, the 9 - 5 would get me down somehow...don't they know i'm a bird, i soar, i bask in freedom...

I jump outside on my mini-trampoline and for those few moments i am weightless, the air brushes against my face, the sky is my ceiling, there is no ground, just a cloud that i can bounce on. gravity pulls me down but as soon as my feet touch the material i return to the air, i am unrestricted, free. its not the same as the big trampoline in africa, not the same feeling that i felt jumping high into the tree, sun streaming onto my skin through the leaves that framed the endless blue high above. there is no mount legagote in my view, no green field surrounding me, no children squealing with delight as i bounce them into the air. i cannot lay on this cloud in my backyard, i wouldn't fit, but it is still my escape.

i make sure to jump at least one more time once my feet step off my cloud onto the cool concrete to remind myself i am back on earth

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