walking

i've been taking walks in the mornings to get some exercise since my back isn't letting me run right now. walking, being in the sunshine, helps me to think, to remember.

i remembered when i was bike riding early in the morning, like today. i rode past a little old asian lady with a yellow shirt on and grey pants. she was standing under the walkway covered by a tunnel of trees, birds tweeting and gliding above her as she stretched out her arms as though she was the conductor and they were her orchestra, she directed them and i passed in awe. i thought of my other mother soonghe, her energy, her way of living. i seem to miss her at the strangest times.

this morning i also remembered when i would take walks through roan township in zambia. once a man yelled at me, asking why i was marching as though i was in the army. i remembered thinking it was funny but feeling a little self-conscious from then on. people don't walk like that in zambia unless they are in the military. walking is a way of life there, and they take it slow.

i walked past a middle school swarming with kids in their uniform khaki bottoms mixed with red, white or blue polo tops. two girls sat on the outskirts, one twirling a piece of rope around and around in front of her, her legs in a knock knee position, so small. they're just starting this thing you know, life. they're new, beginners and yet it struck me the pressures they're facing. i wondered why i didn't realize i was so young when i was their age. i wondered why it is so easy to ruin the rest of life when you are just getting started, it doesn't seem fair. a little girl walked past me, rounder than others, nose stuck in a book. she didn't even look up as she passed, she was confident of her step, or maybe she was too afraid to look the world in the face. i wondered if she was lonely, afraid. just a baby.