Monday, April 21, 2008

saying goodbye

i've said goodbye to too many things over the past two months:
naomie, joe and matthew
my babies
nshima and chihuahua
speaking gonga bemba
my mango and guava trees
roasting ground nuts
sampo
ba-paul and esnart
mwishinayenu
uncomfortable mini-bus rides
banana trees
being the only white girl
dance sessions to jimmy's "over over"
sneaking out to illegal traditional ladies dances
jogging with milan
making kettle korn with natalie for every meal
walkin it out with jessie
neva eva crossing the line with my shortay tresor
quenching my thirsty
the label "mzungu"
being lukundo bupe chimegemege
moses and chimwemwe
julius and his green mangos
zambia
malawi
south africa
harry's pancakes
knowing what normal is
being able to identify reality
sharing my dreams and heart with like-minded people
the ideal
having my own space
walking in the dirt
bucket baths
drop toilets
a rich life without riches
emily, busi
...
i feel the void
hold on to the memories
know that at one time
they were my reality
surrounding me
in the very place
i always wanted
to be.

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