best things

so walking through italy is probably on my top list of favorites in life. i love being outside. i love dogs. i love god. i love flowers and sunsets and dirt roads and grass and the way the sun changes the colors of the things around me as it moves in the sky. everything today was glorious, and i wished i had brought my camera.

i started out my walk feeling needy, and then angry, wanting answers to my questions and feeling as though i was only met with more questions and no clear answer. i stood at the top of a bridge overlooking a river and watched as the green plants in the water looked like hair as they swayed with the rush of the current. i noticed a fish pop out of the greenery and struggle to swim upstream. my cynical mind felt that that was my answer - maybe there is only one fish out there...and then as i continued to watch i noticed another fish pop out from the same spot as the first and begin to struggle as well, and then another. i was fascinated and tried watching as my eyes played tricks on my mind, watching the water and then getting distracted by the reflection of the weeping willow that stood above me. i couldn't find my fish anymore. as i began to think that god didn't care i turned on my music again and started to walk. i told god i was angry although i didn't want to be. and i kept walking.

he brought me through neighborhoods with high colorful houses and brilliant colored flowers. dogs barked at me and cats bounced away or watched carefully as i walked by determined. i kept walking into the country where i usually jog. i walked to the road that i had heard was fun to walk down and turned to find god waiting for me there. i walked past several stumps, a cat on each one. watching. i walked past tall corn fields that reflected gold as the sun shone on them. a grape orchard sprawled across my left, a soy bean field on my right. the sun was sinking to my right and felt warm on my skin. i can't explain to you the glory of the sight and the feeling i knew was god as he reminded me that he has brought me out into an open space to be with me. because he loves me, and i am his beloved.

he knows my heart so well. i felt contented as i listened to my music that i intended to block him out but to no avail. he speaks and nothing can stop his voice - except me i guess. but i longed for him, and i accepted his words. how can i feel anything but love from my father?

my walked from that point on was filled with only good things - thoughts of courage and joy, peace and contentment. acceptance and love. i smiled at the rare few i passed and was happy to speak to a woman who needed by help. she only spoke italian, me, english. and we smiled anyways. i walked back toward home feeling free. the air was getting cooler, the sun had dropped lower. i had been walking for about two hours. i needed the time. i made the last climb to get back to my home street and bent down to take a pebble out of the heel of my shoe.

i heard a cheer like a "wooo" as I bent down and thought, yeaaaaahhhh, and smiled to myself before i quickly recognized the "wooo" came from my music playing from a live concert on my ipod. whoopsie, got a little ahead of myself there.

alas, it as a good walk, filled with only good things.