turning 26

i wouldn't say that i am old, i would say that i am blessed
gratitude
at the end of the day, it's what makes the next worth living
at least that's what i'm beginning to think

i've always made a list of resolutions each year on my birthday. i love achieving goals, i love living as though i have a focus and something to work on. i think i've always been afraid of doing nothing with my life and i heard once that writing down a dream makes it more probable of being accomplish or something like that. i think it sounded much more motivational than what i just wrote but you get the point right?

so, on my birthday i sat down with my journal to write my list of hopes and dreams for myself this year and found myself a little stumped. i've done so much in these past two years and have been blessed in huge ways. who would have ever thought i would actually live in africa? and then being here now in italy, living and working?! have i ever mentioned that italy was supposed to be my honeymoon destination? i didn't want to come to italy before i got married - and now i am living here, without my husband (which is a little sad, but not too much). isn't that funny?! i've run a half-marathon, i've tried all the sports i wanted to try, i've traveled, i've eaten, i've experienced so much in my 26 years of life. it's pretty cool how much you can really live when you're intentional about it

my list became very small. #1 is to develop the curve in my neck - this i actually have control over and it is needed for my neck and shoulder comfort (my curve was knocked out in high school when my face was broken :) #2 is to continue to prayerfully pursue god's will for my future

that's it.
is that bad?

i know there are more things to do and pursue but many of my goals now are internal, and i'm not sure i can put a time limit on those things. also, goals require a small knowledge of location, and this is something i am not sure of for my next year. i only know what is now, and that is that i am in italy, with a straight and sore neck :)

i remember when some of my friends turned 26, 27, 28...in my mind they should've felt very old, but i feel very young, maybe younger than ever. tonight i was envious of little jessi while she was getting tucked into bed by her mom with a tape of adventures in odyssey playing on her cassette player. i want to be tucked in to listen to an adventure on tape while i drift to sleep. i want to be nurtured too. i want my mom and dad :)

we all are really just young at heart

i guess its hard to grow up because now i am responsible for myself, and no one is going to tuck me in to bed, and that has to be ok. and that is sad sometimes, don't you think? but i also get the chance now to pursue my dreams and live life to the fullest. and that is a great thing!

a secret? 26 feels almost just like 25, and maybe 24 too....

p.s. if anyone has good ideas for my year, goals to achieve that i may not be able to see - let me know, i'm open to suggestions! just as long as they're very fun and interesting! :)