posso avarre un pallina di fragola?

i have been trying to teach myself italian with a book that makes me laugh. the quote on the front of the berlitz self-teacher italian books says, "if you speak english you can speak italian".

well, if the book cover says it, it must be true.

so i asked rob how to say the most important thing to me right now..."posso averre un cono con una pallina di coco" this is translated to mean, "i would like a cone with a scoop of coconut"...gelato that is. yes, please memorize this sentence if you plan on traveling to italia and feel free to change the flavor at the end

on my way home today from getting un cono di cookie i spilt chocolate on my green pants and felt a bit awkward with my big brown spot and my floppy shoes that don't fit. i am not italian quality when it comes down to it. there is very little outward class in this girl (when speaking of clothing...i am quite the classy lady otherwise) i kept telling myself over and over that i am a poor missionary girl and have no need to worry about clothing. this did not make me feel any better about my brown spotted chocolate pants or my floppy shoes

i've been reading some good books and god has been challenging me on some thing. i think it is interesting how he challenges me more when i am overseas. or maybe it is me who is different, maybe i'm more available to his voice when i am away from all the other noises i choose to listen to....maybe...

so, a few things.

first - " so many of us, after having entered into some of the deeper realities of our lord, seek to immediately pull or push others into this wonderful advancement; and then we wonder why they are so slow to learn, and seemingly apathetic in their understanding and concern. we so easily forget the many years it took, and what wandering wilderness ways our lord had to traverse with us to bring us over jordan and into canaan"

yep....that's a difficult one to remember, but god's been patient a very long time, teaching me so gently my need for him. and yet i want to have greater expectations of others than the god of the universe has for me. how can that be right?!

second - "doing is right enough, in itself, but the order ought to be from happiness to work, and not work to be happy. it is from the inner circle, the hive, the heart where christ reigns, the only green spot, the fond enclosure - the sanctuary, that one should come forth to work. the quality of one's work depends on the nature of one's rest - and the rest should be like his own, know and enjoyed with him"

i find myself in a regular struggle with law vs. freedom - work vs. rest and this passage made me think, i really need to get to a place of rest in the lord, before the work, my work, can have full effect...because then it's not me anymore, but him doing it in and through me.

both of these quotes come from the same chapter titled "cultivation" in the green letters by miles j. stanford.

i'm also reading "the return of the prodigal son" by henri j. m. nouwen and i would recommend it to all.

some sections - "as long as i keep running about asking: 'do you love me? do you really love me?' i give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with 'ifs'...the worlds love is and always will be conditional. as long as i keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, i will remain 'hooked' to the world - trying, failing, and trying again....as long as we live within the world's delusions, our addictions condemn us to futile quests in 'the distant country,' leaving us to face an endless series of disillusionments while our sense of self remains unfilled....why do i keep ignoring the place of true love and persist in looking for it elsewhere? why do i keep leaving home where i am called a child of god, the beloved of my father? i am constantly surprised at how i keep taking the gifts god has give me - my health, my intellectual and emotional gifts - and keep using them to impress people, receive affirmation and praise, and compete for rewards, instead of developing them for the glory of god....it's almost as if i want to prove to myself and to my world that i do not need god's love, that i can make a life on my own, that i want to be fully independent" - henri j.m. nouwen

lots to think about! e vero!