blankie

i used to have a blankie that i slept with every night
i would tuck it under my chin and make sure it was touching my cheek
i remember the day i decided i was too old for my blankie
i folded the torn quilt my grams made for me
and placed it in the top drawer of my dresser

i still need to have something under my chin to sleep well


i was thinking about how nice it would be to take my blankie with me everywhere i went. i can imagine that if i just had it with me when i was in an uncomfortable situation, in a group of people i didn't really fit in with, on a date with a boy that made me feel more nervous than good...i could crawl up under it, or place it on my lap - a little layer of protection and comfort from the world that sometimes seems so unsure and uninviting.

a good friend is like a blankie. i had a good friend with me this weekend. my ginna love came to visit for a few days and i took her everywhere i went and she was my comfort. i had someone in my corner, someone who was true, a comfort zone from awkward or new relationships, i had her by my side. i liked it, a lot. like maybe that's what i've been missing these past few...well, almost a couple years. the person standing on my side of the ring, someone that i can curl up in to.

i can't take my parents with me anymore, i can't take blankie with me anymore either. but if you find me laying on your floor with a blanket, curled like a baby...then you know i feel safe with you, and, in your presence i am home.