i have to go on a diet...not just a diet of food, but also of negative self-talk, the computer, movies, toxic people, toxic environments, a diet from fear and coffee, wheat and obsessions, expectations and sugar....
the verse says that it is not by man's desire or effort but by god's mercy...and i don't really get that. i mean, i want to get it to the point where it feels natural to follow it. but it doesn't. how do i stop desiring? how can i expect to see anything if i stop trying? control? i understand i really can't do it on my own. i've been thinking about those people who aren't christians, who are free to do these things by their own power and ability...and they succeed, they overcome, they heal, they survive....so what's the difference? is it that big hole that is still throbbing within them, the yearning for something more, someone to trust in other than themselves? but i am still struggling to make sense of it. to be "free" in bondage to christ. to let him do all, be all, heal all, transform...me. so where am i allowed to do something? or is doing something my lack of surrender? how long do i wait?
the diet is necessary i know. i see the damaging effects on my spirit, mind, body and a change needs to be made. but am i trying to change myself? am i following after the "ways of man" or am i making healthy choices that could point to god? maybe i also need to be on a diet from legalism, this idea i have in my mind that if i don't analyze my intentions long and hard and find that god is at the center than i have failed.
does anyone else know the bondage of legalism like i do? the lack of freedom disguised as the path to freedom, the obscene lie? do you know it like i know it? hows does one really get free from the chains? that's what i'd like to know.....
the african daesy in america
- MeginAfrica
- Mesa, Arizona, United States
- She doesn't own a dress Her hair is always a mess ... She only drinks coffee at midnight When the moment is not right Her timing is quite, unusual You see her confidence is tragic, but her intuitions magic, and the shape of her body Unusual
1 comment:
Megan, such good questions... ones that really need to be asked. I am really trying to live out the implications of our semi-gnostic Western worldview... that being the idea that physical and spiritual are so disconnected and that we must glorify only the spiritual. Seeing as how the physical is going down the tubes, let's denounce it and focus on what really matters. It seems that any glorification of the physical is named new age or something like that.
But, I don't buy it. That's not how I see the bible (before the Greeks started interpreting it). Once the Gnostics or ex-dualists like Augustine got a hold of it we got on a track of only being able to think that way.
The physical matters. We physically follow Jesus, not just with our knowledge and our "hearts." Following Jesus is freedom... I think it means living out what it means to be fully human. After all, God created us "very good," right? It's an interesting tension, realizing that we are not all that significant in the grand scheme of things and that how things happens really isn't about us... and on the other hand that who we are and who we become is ALL about us!! God made you unique for a reason and to take joy in that is to serve God fully...
The term 'in bondage to Christ' doesn't work for me. I'm not sure where it came from... probably an era where slavery was ok. I guess I believe God is at the center of all good things... and fully present in bad things as well. He is love, forgiveness, mercy, reconciliation... this is everything we want, everything we need. We live into the awareness of this, the awareness of Christ's presence, and indeed we are free.
Just some thoughts. Thank you for sharing your questions
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