ideals

today marks the day that i plan to begin intentionally living up to my ideals. this means in every aspect. food, drink, art, nature, my body, spirit and soul, my spending, my life.

something has been spoken a couple times recently that encourages me in this pursuit.

our imperfections are what make us uniquely lovable.

i like that a lot. i've spent many years in my life in the attempt to reform myself, to become better, adjusting my behaviors and attitudes, my actions and beliefs. where there is value to this there is also a sense that i might need to constantly be changing myself to fit into a mold of someone else's choosing. i started thinking that much of my dissatisfaction with myself and my imperfections came with the truth that i knew what i was, and what i wanted to do, but often took the easier, safer road rather than the tough road in life. this is not characteristically fitting for me. i'm a risk taker, and i have challenged many fears in my life. but there are those lingering ones, the ones inside that i have taken the road of convenience. food, relationships with men, free time, even money. all these areas could use some improvement. and i don't mean that i'm choosing some kind of restriction or limitation for myself, it's choosing a different kind, to choose freedom for myself. a freedom from the bondage of the world into bond-servant-ship of Christ.

i'm excited about this, excited to embark on a new voyage of discovery in understanding who God truly made me to be, and how i can understand this abundance that he promised me.

so many things in this world have become easy and attractive, but they are destroying us. why would we give our lives away so freely to the opinions and selfish ambitions of this present world? i believe there is so much more for us, but we'll have to give up the easy road of convenience in order to experience it. i believe that is when, that is where we'll begin to see this abundance Christ speaks of. and i want that. challenge me, i would challenge you to challenge me. because i need people to see something more for me than what i can see for myself sometimes!