ok

"it'll be ok"

i say that when i don't know what to say. but the truth is, it might not be ok....and it probably won't be ok, at least not right now. ultimately everything will some day be ok, but that is not the promise for today, everything might not be ok.

i haven't figured out how to be comfortable with certain silences, i fill the space, stumble over words, say things that aren't true, knowing that as they flow from my mouth they are false.

is it a comfort to you if i just sit there and don't have an answer? because that would be my best response. i just don't know what is going to happen, i can't make things better, and i hate that.

but i'm here